Sex positions for couples: 10 to start with

There is no right position. There is the one that works for your two bodies, on that day, with that mood. Below are ten positions: the classics almost every couple knows and a few that fewer people try. Each one comes with step-by-step instructions and an illustration with wooden mannequins, no explicit photos.

Before you start

• Lube solves more discomfort than any technique. Keep some within reach, water-based if you use condoms or silicone toys.
• A pillow under the hips changes the angle of almost every lying-down position.
• Start slow. The pace can pick up once you have both found the fit.
• Agree on a simple way to ask to stop or switch. Stopping halfway is part of it, not a failure.

1.Missionary

One partner lies on their back with knees bent and apart while the other lies on top, face to face, bodies pressed together.

How to do it

1. One partner lies on their back, head on the pillow, knees bent and apart; the other lies on top between their legs, face to face. 2. The person on top rests on their knees and on their forearms beside the partner’s shoulders, keeping their weight off the chest. 3. Pause before changing the angle, and stop if either person feels discomfort.

Tips

A classic for a reason: face to face, you can kiss, look at each other and hold each other the whole time. The person on top sets the pace; short movements with the hips pressed close increase friction near the clitoris. Easier: a pillow under the lower partner’s hips makes the fit more comfortable and eases the lower back. More intense: the person underneath wraps their legs around their partner’s waist and pulls the hips closer, deepening contact.

2.Spooning

Both partners lie on their sides facing the same direction, with the person behind holding the other and following the curve of their back.

How to do it

1. Both partners lie on their sides facing the same direction, with the person behind fitted into the curve of the other’s back. 2. The person behind wraps an arm over and holds their partner across the chest; bend the knees slightly and place a cushion between them if the upper leg needs support. 3. Pause before changing the angle, and stop if either person feels discomfort.

Tips

Intimate and effortless: nobody has to hold up their own weight, and the hug from behind leaves hands free to caress the chest and clitoris. Movements tend to be short and slow, which makes it a good choice for lazy mornings or when you’re tired. Easier: the person in front bends their upper leg and rests it forward, which opens space and makes the fit easier. More intense: the person in front tilts their torso forward, almost onto their stomach, and the person behind holds the hips for a firmer grip.

3.Cowgirl

One partner lies on their back while the other sits upright astride their hips, facing them with knees on either side.

How to do it

1. One partner lies on their back while the other sits upright astride their hips, facing them with knees on either side. 2. The person above settles their weight through their knees and adjusts their torso angle without pulling on the lower partner’s arms. 3. Pause before changing the angle, and stop if either person feels discomfort.

Tips

The person on top controls everything: pace, depth and angle. Leaning forward increases friction at the front, near the clitoris; sitting upright or leaning back deepens contact and tends to favor the front wall (the G-spot area). Easier: the person on top rests their hands on their partner’s chest and circles their hips instead of moving up and down. More intense: the person underneath bends their knees, plants their feet on the mattress and joins in by pushing their hips upward.

4.Reverse cowgirl

One partner lies on their back with legs extended while the other kneels astride their hips, facing toward their feet.

How to do it

1. One partner lies on their back with legs extended; the other kneels astride their hips facing toward their feet, one knee on each side. 2. The person on top rests their hands on the partner’s thighs or knees for balance and lowers themselves gradually. 3. Pause before changing the angle, and stop if either person feels discomfort.

Tips

The person on top controls pace, depth and angle, while the person lying down can guide with hands on the waist or hips. Leaning the torso forward or back changes the sensation a lot. Because the angle is less natural for the penis, lower slowly and, if it slips out, guide it back in by hand instead of coming down hard. Easier: the person on top circles their hips instead of moving up and down, with hands firmly on the partner’s thighs. More intense: the person lying down bends their knees and plants their feet on the mattress; the person on top leans on them for more drive.

5.Doggy style

One partner rests on hands and knees while the other kneels behind, with hands lightly at the hips.

How to do it

1. One partner rests on hands and knees while the other kneels behind, with hands lightly at the hips. 2. Place hands beneath shoulders and knees beneath hips first, then adjust the distance between partners without pushing the lower back into an exaggerated arch. 3. Pause before changing the angle, and stop if either person feels discomfort.

Tips

Lowering the shoulders onto the forearms changes the angle and usually deepens contact; straight arms keep it lighter. The person behind can hold the hips to guide the pace, and the person in front can push back to control depth. Easier: a cushion under the knees and short movements. More intense: a free hand on the clitoris or penis while the pace builds gradually.

6.Lotus

One partner sits cross-legged on the bed while the other sits in their lap, face to face, legs wrapped around their waist.

How to do it

1. One partner sits cross-legged in the middle of the bed, back straight; the other sits in their lap, face to face. 2. The person on top wraps their legs around the partner’s waist and their arms around the neck; the person underneath holds their back for support. 3. Pause before changing the angle, and stop if either person feels discomfort.

Tips

More connection than motion: there’s little room to thrust, so the rhythm comes from rocking and grinding together, pressed close, kissing and making eye contact. The person on top controls depth with their legs. Easier: the person underneath leans back against the headboard or a stack of pillows, and the person on top rests their feet on the bed. More intense: both lean back on their hands, which opens space between the bodies and changes the angle.

7.On the chair

One partner sits on a sturdy chair while the other sits in their lap, face to face, one foot on each side of the chair.

How to do it

1. One partner sits on a sturdy chair with no wheels and no armrests, feet planted on the floor. 2. The other sits in their lap face to face, one foot on each side of the chair, arms around their neck; the seated partner holds their back. 3. Pause before changing the angle, and stop if either person feels discomfort.

Tips

With feet on the floor, the person in the lap has leverage to move up and down and controls pace and depth; the seated partner is free to hold and kiss. Pressed close, the bodies favor friction near the clitoris. Easier: the person in the lap rocks slowly instead of moving up and down. More intense: the seated partner leans back a little and holds their partner’s hips to follow the movement.

8.Armchair, from behind

One partner kneels on the armchair seat facing the backrest while the other stands behind, hands on their hips.

How to do it

1. One partner kneels at the front edge of the seat, facing the backrest, forearms resting on top of it. 2. The other stands on the floor right behind and adjusts the height by bending their knees slightly; hands on the hips help guide. 3. Pause before changing the angle, and stop if either person feels discomfort.

Tips

A version of doggy style that spares knees and wrists: the backrest supports the torso and the padded seat cushions the knees. The person standing sets the pace, and the person in front can raise or lower their hips to change the angle. Easier: a cushion under the knees of the person on the armchair and slow movements. More intense: the person in front rests their chest on the backrest and arches their back, and the person behind holds the hips firmly.

9.Hunger

For this oral arrangement, one person sits at the bed edge and reclines onto their hands.

How to do it

For this oral arrangement, one person sits at the bed edge and reclines onto their hands. Their partner kneels on the floor in front, keeping the shoulders between the relaxed legs. Keep the face and neck free, and leave enough room for either person to pause or move away easily.

Tips

Kneeling on the floor puts the giving partner at the right height without straining the neck; a pillow under the knees helps. The receiving partner can guide with their hands or say what works: a steady rhythm usually matters more than speed. Easier: the receiving partner lies back and rests their feet on their partner’s shoulders or back. More intense: the giving partner adds their fingers, and the receiving partner lifts their hips to get closer.

10.Mutual touch

Both partners sit side by side against the headboard, each touching the other with a hand, without penetration.

How to do it

1. Sit side by side with your backs against the pillows at the headboard and your legs stretched out, shoulder to shoulder. 2. Each of you rests a hand in the other’s lap; the free hand stays on the sheet or around your partner. 3. Start slowly, say what feels good, and stop if either person feels discomfort.

Tips

Works for any couple and any body, and it’s a great way to learn what your partner likes: each of you shows with your own hand the pressure and pace you prefer, and your partner copies it. Lube makes the touch smoother and more comfortable. Easier: start over clothes or the sheet and only then move to direct touch. More intense: one of you closes their eyes and only receives, then swap; or use a vibrator as an extension of the hand.

How to choose the next one

The hard part is rarely the position. It is saying you want to try it. Plenty of people want to be on top, have sex standing up or try doggy style, and never say so, afraid of hearing “no” or of sounding like they are complaining about what you already have.

One way around it is to answer in private. In the Intimacy quiz, the positions chapter asks each person, one by one, what they would like to do. The result shows only the positions you both picked, with how much each of you wants them. Whatever only one of you wanted stays hidden.